My Retraction

I got a lot of complaints from the CSI addicts out there for my “inappropriate rendition of CSI”. Worst of all I compared a serious and complicated show to that of a show for children and/or mildly retarded adults. I apologize for this. It was very wrong of me. It's just, I truly feel the only way CSI would become interesting would be if they moved it to a very remote location.

Think of it: CSI:Alabama. See, they couldn't use their fancy pants DNA testing down there, everyone has the same genetic code. Plus, they're all related, so we have a massive conspiracy going on. Okay, that was really messed up. I'm sorry yet again, and still I did not make it up to all ya'al CSI addicts.

My cat is named after a CSI character, so maybe that gives me immunity?? I mean, if I was married to a Mexican girl I could make fun of Mexicans. Can't I make fun of CSI because my cat's name is Grissom?

I guess I can't really apologize to everyone who was hurt by earlier column.

For all the grief I've caused, I apologize.