My Sick Day

I feel like crap. I need sleep. The show.

My Beerfest

Good times at the movies with Jeff.

My First Birthday

I am kinda bored, and a tad bit bummed, and so I write.

Right now I am the U of A, I am waiting for the girls to eat dinner, then we’ll meet up at 8:00. The time right now is 7:13.

I saw J-Ro today, its been a long while. The guy still looks to be in peak physical condition. I find it funny how everyone I know has gained weight in college, and he loses weight. J-Ro was always to cool for everyone. Something about the meeting between us bothered me. No, it wasn’t the fact that he was in great shape and I could stand to lose a pound or two. It was the fact he playing soccer.

Don’t get me wrong, I love soccer. I have for years, I tend only to be a fan once every four years, but when that year comes I am so gung ho about soccer. I would defend to death its greatness if necessary, at least when the world cup is around. It wasn’t the soccer at all that bugged me, it was me. This guy goes to a completely different school, in another state, and yet is able to find pick-up soccer games. I have been searching since the summer began for pick-up soccer, so much so that I played soccer with a bunch of kids from Greenfields!

Why is it that I couldn’t see something right in front of me? Why is it that I feel so crippled in social situations? I was never this way. In high school… and there’s the answer. In high school. I feel like everyone graduated from high school except for me. Now two years later I’m finally handed my diploma, offered a spot in the real world, and shoved to the ground. Forgive me if my grammar is lacking, or I tend to run on, I am ready to rant. The time is 7:21.

This was the final piece of the puzzle. This is why I was so hung up on her, this is why I don’t go to parties, this is why I don’t have as much fun as everyone else. I just graduated from High school. I feel like a fish out of water.

All in all I think I am finally ready to go to college. I wasted the past two years drifting, in and out of consciousness. I drugged myself with BestBuy, crushes that never came to fruition, girls who only hurt me, the pain was more intoxicating than the fear ever could be. The pain kept me alive, it kept me awake, it kept me going. Eventually disappointment mounted to a level that I finally began to feed off of it. I ditched class, not because I was afraid of failure, I wanted it. I wanted to fall flat on my face, but not for the attention, no no no, I wanted to fall to feel. I felt like the fear just crippled me emotionally. I was gone. I needed to be saved, BestBuy was a cult that saved me. For two years I lived, breathed and so greatly would have died for it, only to be able to finally have something to live for. I did not want to live for me.

I finally want to change that. I found joy in areas I once loved. I realized how rewarding doing well for oneself can actually be. I realized I want to be the best at everything I do. I once was great, but a man’s power isn’t judged by his greatness, its judged in his ability to lose it and find it once again.

I want to be a college student. I urge all those out there reading this, please, help me in this. I’m back, I’m ready, I am good to go. The time is 7:30.

Mark this second, minute, hour and moment, this is my first birthday.

My Jewdom

I found a jewish frisbee.

My First Re-run

My ASU Adventure was originally posted on Monday, July 17, 2006.

I re-post this for the girls.


Sorry the videos are upside down, I am to lazy to fix 'um.




I leave all that I love to journey to a far away land. Luckily the Griss isn’t to worried, he’s addicted to Law and Order you know!


Pichacho Peak


Driving is boring at times.


Assorted items in the car, why is there a pair of boxers here?


Digital stills fun.


Greatest Italian Fast Food Ever!


A Scene from Superman, awesome movie by the way.


Some damn good coffee, much needed too.



I love the ASU campus.


What is this? A tree? We don’t have those in Tucson.


What the heck?


Props Jeff, mad props.


Do I yield around the tree?


This place was soooo awesome, it is like the ILC, but like 500x better.


Where am I?


They have one too?


Shumway, eat fresh.


This my shit.


Cali?


There was a hot girl in front of me, my stupid phone was focused on the car.

Here is what I learned:
ASU kicks ass. I am so excited about it all. This will be fun.

My Welcome to Facebook

The Alan Show is now syndicated in three markets (facebook, blogger, and the space). In honor of our new host i took a picture of my face and a book. Get it? Facebook? Show

My Lunch with Jeff

Jeff and I went to lunch and he told me not to take a picture of him. Show.

My Sunny Disposition (or lack there of)

I am in the shittiest mood ever. I wish today never existed.

My Conference Call

I had an hour conference call today. I feel so important, and yet still bored.

My Band Camp Night

It's band camp and Aubrey's birthday. I love this. I'm developing school pride! That's not good.

My Swanky Dinner

The U of A Band dinner. Not much to say? *censored*. THE SHOW.

My Retraction

I got a lot of complaints from the CSI addicts out there for my “inappropriate rendition of CSI”. Worst of all I compared a serious and complicated show to that of a show for children and/or mildly retarded adults. I apologize for this. It was very wrong of me. It's just, I truly feel the only way CSI would become interesting would be if they moved it to a very remote location.

Think of it: CSI:Alabama. See, they couldn't use their fancy pants DNA testing down there, everyone has the same genetic code. Plus, they're all related, so we have a massive conspiracy going on. Okay, that was really messed up. I'm sorry yet again, and still I did not make it up to all ya'al CSI addicts.

My cat is named after a CSI character, so maybe that gives me immunity?? I mean, if I was married to a Mexican girl I could make fun of Mexicans. Can't I make fun of CSI because my cat's name is Grissom?

I guess I can't really apologize to everyone who was hurt by earlier column.

For all the grief I've caused, I apologize.

My Fast Food Dilemma!

There is nothing to eat at Jack it the Box. Not a damn thing. I miss meat, not for the taste, but the convenience. I hate worrying about what's in my food! DAMN YOU SUPER SIZE ME! Ha ha. The show.

My Video Posts

My Show


Payback is a bitch!


I love Scrubs, I really do.

My New Job

I have the coolest job ever! I am so freaking excited. After spending two years in the soulless hell that was BestBuy I now work for one the most rewarding job I've ever had. I work for the Red Cross.

It is so cool, not only do I get my own desk, I get my own filing cabinet and computer! True, its not the PC Jeff uses, its a P4 with 256mb of ram and no graphics card, but it has speakers! I can listen to music at work. Best of all, I can sleep, I can go home and not feel guilty, I do no wrong.

Whodathunkit?

Let's get some initial things out of the way:

Madison, if you're reading this, I know your birthday is on the seventh, I'm just messing with you. Knowing you, you probably won't read this and the joke continues.

Snakes On A Plane is Me Newest Obsession, I have no desire to see the movie, it's just that song gets stuck in my head. To avoid further insanity I am currently listening to the rap stylings of Jason Mraz.

Yes, I do indeed still believe Sylvia is a whore, I don't say it as much as I used to but it's still there. It's like 'I love you', when you've been with someone long enough it goes without saying.

Who from the Faroe Islands is coming to my web site? I mean, I have nothing against long distance viewers (there are Alan Show fans all the way in South Korea), I just wish you'd leave a comment or something.

Lastly, a lot of you have been asking what do I call the fans of the Alan Show. Hulk Hogan has the Hulkamaniacs, the Rock has the millions and millions of fans, and I don't really know what to call you guys. As soon as I come up with something, I'll fill you in. I promise.

Let's begin.

I find it to be funny that I haven't been to BestBuy 198 since I last was fired, I pass by it once a week and yet have zero inclination to step in. I don't get it. I'm not afraid of what would happen if I stepped in, and I don't really care what they'd say, I just have no drive to. Plus, there are people there who I never really got to say goodbye to, say my final words to, and now they'll never hear them. In spite of this, I still cannot step inside of BestBuy 198. What the heck?

I do get an employee discount at my new job, 10% off of blood and blood accessories. Not to shabby.

I am trying to download Gilmore Girls Season One, I really love that show. Why is it, that when I was with Isabel, I couldn't sit down for five minutes to watch the show? Now I am obsessed with it. “Mothers and daughters, they speak so fast, they speak so true” Chris Turk. I know I just quoted a Scrubs character about Gilmore Girls, so what. I really wanna start from the beginning for this new season, I want to know everything and anything that happened, this is the last season you know! It should be good. I am excited about it, that and that Scrubs Season Six is a go!

I do not advocate illegal downloading of TV Show and/or Movies illegally. If I still did commercials, I'd recommend a legal service, oh well.

Psych is Monk for idiots. I love Psych, but it is just so... simple. I watch it and find myself enthralled because I too can use my detective skills to find the killer or thief. I feel so dirty watching, almost like I sat through CSI. CSI is Law and Order for idiots. I mean hardcore Law and Order, not that Special Victims bullshit, like Law and Order: Criminal Intent. The lead detective in that show is the shit. CSI and Law and Order: Special Victims are like the Blues Clues of detective shows:

So Guys and Gals, we have our three murder clues, we have the rape kit with two different samples of sperm, and one matches the boyfriend. We have blood all over the apartment, including the shower, and the murder weapon is a knife from the ex lover's knife drawer. Can you guess who Blue thinks killed this guy?



CSI: Lets use over dramatic special effects generated by an engineer using 3DS Max, poor guy, he thought he'd actually be solving crimes with his training. Instead he's wasting everyone's time and creating them. After all is said and done one of the detectives has a brain blast and figures it was the boyfriend, he caught his girlfriend cheating on him, raped her and killed her.

SVU: Let's first accuse the boyfriend, arrest him, set him free, waste 45 minutes of the viewers time and then realize it was the boyfriend all along. He did it because his mother raped him. His dad beat him too. Let's all cry.

What I like about Monk, it's always something new. Plus, we see a storyline develop and learn to love Monk more. What I hate about Monk is what I hated about Michael J. Fox when he guest starred on Scrubs, his OCD is way to real looking. It drives me bonkers. I actually twitch from watching them both. Both play/ed their parts well, too well.

Did you know Sheclock Holmes never said “Elementary, my dear Watson”. In fact, all he said was “Elementary” and “My dear Watson”, but never the two in the same novel. Funny huh?

Zach Braff has developed so many friends so quickly, it scares me. Good news though, I am friend 394 on his MySpace. Speaking of MySpace, I will now refer to it as the Space. I think it makes it sound cooler, more suave, more sophisticated. Whenever referring to my own personal space I will refer to it as my Space, different emphasis on the syllables. Trust me, it'll work. Maybe not. Truth be told, you can't get viruses or spyware from the Facebook.

I hate the Space.

Anyone who has not heard James Blunt, by his CD! All his songs will blow your mind, trust me on this. Have I ever steered you wrong before?

Anywho, I think my rambling have officially turned from being productive to being confusing, and so I end them here, at least tonight I do. Tip your waitresses, its not their fault you're so ugly they won't sleep with you even though you offered to pay them and not kiss them on the lips. It happens. If this still makes sense in the morning, there is something seriously wrong with this plane of reality.

Yours, as always, lovingly, gratefully, infatuated, enamored, and ever radically,

Alan “The Alan Show” D. Moghaddam

I leave you with a riddle: why does 6 fear 7?
Seven Eight Nine! He eight Nine!! and Nine is Six upside down. Hey, how is it fair that when six flips over it becomes nine, but when eight flips only half way it becomes infinity? It didn't do all the work six did!

My Snakes

This group is kicking. I have this song stuck in my head!

My Way Home

I was on my way home and the sky looked so majestic, i had to take a picture. Its like the rain makes everything make sense again. I love Tucson when it rains. The show.

My AIM Name

Hey everyone, the alan show now has an AIM name. It is theAlanShow4life . Send me text, pics, whatever. It may even make it on the site. A new contest is coming soon. Stay tuned. Alan

My Linux Blog

To those that don't know, I have multiple operating systems, Suse Linux 10.0 is one of them. I really couldn't think of something to start lines of communication, so I used the fact that I am on my laptop using Suse as a segway.





I feel so lost right now, even my Magic BestBuy Ball doesn't wanna tell me what to do. It feels like when one question gets answered, twelve more pop. Russel Rios called it Vietnam syndrome, not because it's like PTSD, but because it feels like shit keeps coming my way. Lets break these elements down:

My Love life: So there is this girl who I am crazy about, she's a nerd, she's funny, she likes my shows, she likes my movies, she is the cooliest. I would love to ask her out, but she is dating a douche. Her boyfriend is an absolute douche. Believe me, I don't say this because I'm jealous; gun to my head, I think he is a waste of space. What she sees in him is beyond me. Anywho, she and he always seem like an ironclad combo whenever I have an opportunity to strike. What is even more frustration is the fact that when things aren't going well between the two love birds I'm a million miles away (not always literally). It just doesn't make sense to me. I try and not think about it, and yet something always draws me to it. Maybe its a defense mechanism, maybe I'm just afraid of acting so I just let things get in the way. Maybe I'm just making excuses. Questions, questions, and more questions come from one.

To add to this, my ex all of sudden decides that she wants to “randomly” call my best friend and converse about the past, the present and the future. Why? Here's how it works, it's like she and I got divorced, she got all my Amphi friends and I got Alexander. I'm sorry, but we had an agreement, at least I thought we did. What causes me to falter isn't the fact that she's calling him (it just annoys me, protocol is there for a reason damn it), no, its the fact that she hates Alexander. For lack of a better term, Alexander was my double agent. After we broke up whenever I needed to know anything about her, I would ask him to go in. He would go, befriend her, and find whatever I needed to know. I wasn't proud of it, well I was a little proud, but that's the way it always went down. Miss *Censored by the annoying people against facts, also known as my ex girlfriend and her friends, this message was paid for by the Alan is an asshole committee* knows to 100% certainty whatever is said to Alexander is tape recorder and played back for me, literally. A part of me thinks she always knew that too, she just decided to tell me stuff through him because she's to proud to say it directly to me. There is a back story to the literal comment, but I wont venture forward. Why call? What is there to say but fuck you, how dare you judge me, so on and so forth? What plagues me is what always plagues me, her motivation. I know that even if I knew the answer to the question I have no more than I started with, but it still lingers on, why?

Where I'll be: I am really resolute about going up to ASU, I've even started to develop a level of school pride. My phone has ASU as the background, I have a bunch of dark orange T-shirts on order, so much so that I've often been asked if I'm the secret new Orange Power Ranger. Power Rangers hoooaaa! As strongly as I hold onto the ideal that Tucson and I are parting ways, like she always does Tucson has decided to put up a good fight to keep me here. I have a great new job with the U of A, the aforementioned girl above goes to the U of A; worst of all hell's doppelganger has decided to change the status quo and bring about rain. It never rains in Tucson, and yet for six days its been a been a beautiful blur between bright sunny day and soft cool rainy night. The rivers actually have water in them. Of course it would be very conceited of me to believe all this has been done for me, but then again I have noticed the way Tucson has always had its eye on me. While all of this is not enough to get me to stay, its got me starting to question if I've made the right decision.

I'm lost, I really am. While I have the time I'd like to wish a very good friend of mine a happy birthday, Hope, happy b-day from the entire Alan Show family. How old are you now? Twenty two? Three? Well I hope you get all that you ask for.

I think my digression is a sign that maybe in all the bitching I've done, I've lost some steam. I am going to leave you with one thing, things aren't all bad, there is a lot of good, but sometimes, missing that one thing that you truly want can trump everything you have. It infects you, suddenly the other things you love aren't good enough anymore. Suddenly all the people you cared about aren't worth your time, and at the end of it all you're stuck in a spiral of trying to get what you never even had, answers. I've been down that road once and I'll try to avoid it again, but I still can't help but wonder. My mystery girl, if you're reading this...

My "Famous" Lunch

Eating lunch at Famous Dave's was am experience to say the least. For those of you that don't know i gave up red meat on ash Wednesday and have been off it since then. There were maybe four items on the menu i could order. Good times. Later more. The show.

My Postal Infraction

So i am going crazy trying to find a post office on Rosemont.
Eventually i find it, but along the way i say the greatest Simpsons reference at Pinaccle Peak. It read "you don't win friends with salad". I was very disappointed that i was unable to drive and take a pic at the same time. Oh well. The Show.